loose leaf letters
"I'll be gone for 5 minutes. Gonna grab my mail," said Nathan as he got up from his desk. His co-workers merely hummed in assent as Nathan left the room for a breather.
He was pretty terrible about getting his work mail and wondered what buried treasures he would unearth this time. He entered the mail room and accessed his mail box. A stack of mail leaning like the Tower of Pisa welcomed him by falling over. He quickly reached in, gathering the lumbering pile of envelopes, loose leaf letters, and pamphlets with both arms and returned to his desk with mail in tow. On the top of the pile was a plain envelope, with his name hand-written in giant letters on the front. "Hm, this should be interesting," thought Nathan as he pulled out the letter and began to read.
His eyes didn't believe what he saw. He quickly put down the letter and turned in his seat to show his co-workers. "Hey guys, look what I just got!"
It should be worth noting, at this point, that the human backbone is an intricate and delicate piece of biology. It consists of the vertebrae, blood vessels, nerves, and the much ballyhooed discs that sit in between the bones. Helping to hold the bones together is a band of fibrous ligaments and tendons, which function as a brace to assist in movement and protect the backbone from injury. It was these tendons that Nathan's slight yet sudden movement wrenched out of position, causing Nathan considerable pain.
"Yaugh!" Nathan yelped in an unmanly fashion.
"What's wrong?" asked Bea concernedly. Gary, one of Nathan's better friends within the firm, came over to Nathan's desk. "Hey man," he asked politely, "Is everything ok?"
A bit embarassed but still very much in pain, Nathan nodded assuredly, "Yeah, I think I hurt my back. It's nothing...but check this out!" Nathan offered him the letter, which Gary read right away.
"Whoa! This is crazy, man!" Gary laughed, handing the letter to Bea, who received the letter in a similar fashion.
"Holy shit! Where did this come from? Do you know who this might be?" Bea asked excitedly.
Wincing in pain, Nathan responded, "No clue. I think it's a joke?" He struggled to turn his head, as the sharp pain now racked his upper back and shoulder and rendered his neck almost completely immobile.
"What makes you think that?" Gary asked.
"Look at the date, man. April Oh-Eight. Probably a late April Fools joke." Nathan turned his attention to his computer, where he was frantically researching chiropractors in the area. Luckily, there was one just down the street from his building; he called in and was relieved to score an appointment for an hour later.
As he waited, Nathan thought to investigate the origins of the letter. He fired some instant messages to his other co-workers online. He first approached his Ethiopian friend, Rohan, who laughed when hearing about the letter but flatly denied any involvement. His Scottish friend, Rodney, sympathized with Nathan but also denied having a hand in the message. "Besides," Rodney added, "if it was MY joke, it'd actually be FUNNY."
By the time his appointment time rolled around, Nathan had exhausted all his leads. Aching in pain, he got up slowly from his desk and excused himself a second time to make his trip to the doctor. On the elevator ride down, he re-thought his theory and wondered if possibly, the letter was the real deal. Maybe he did have a genuine, bonafide admirer. But he knew better. The pain in his back reminded him gently that he wasn't that lucky - his life was simply too ridiculous.
He was pretty terrible about getting his work mail and wondered what buried treasures he would unearth this time. He entered the mail room and accessed his mail box. A stack of mail leaning like the Tower of Pisa welcomed him by falling over. He quickly reached in, gathering the lumbering pile of envelopes, loose leaf letters, and pamphlets with both arms and returned to his desk with mail in tow. On the top of the pile was a plain envelope, with his name hand-written in giant letters on the front. "Hm, this should be interesting," thought Nathan as he pulled out the letter and began to read.
His eyes didn't believe what he saw. He quickly put down the letter and turned in his seat to show his co-workers. "Hey guys, look what I just got!"
It should be worth noting, at this point, that the human backbone is an intricate and delicate piece of biology. It consists of the vertebrae, blood vessels, nerves, and the much ballyhooed discs that sit in between the bones. Helping to hold the bones together is a band of fibrous ligaments and tendons, which function as a brace to assist in movement and protect the backbone from injury. It was these tendons that Nathan's slight yet sudden movement wrenched out of position, causing Nathan considerable pain.
"Yaugh!" Nathan yelped in an unmanly fashion.
"What's wrong?" asked Bea concernedly. Gary, one of Nathan's better friends within the firm, came over to Nathan's desk. "Hey man," he asked politely, "Is everything ok?"
A bit embarassed but still very much in pain, Nathan nodded assuredly, "Yeah, I think I hurt my back. It's nothing...but check this out!" Nathan offered him the letter, which Gary read right away.
"Whoa! This is crazy, man!" Gary laughed, handing the letter to Bea, who received the letter in a similar fashion.
"Holy shit! Where did this come from? Do you know who this might be?" Bea asked excitedly.
Wincing in pain, Nathan responded, "No clue. I think it's a joke?" He struggled to turn his head, as the sharp pain now racked his upper back and shoulder and rendered his neck almost completely immobile.
"What makes you think that?" Gary asked.
"Look at the date, man. April Oh-Eight. Probably a late April Fools joke." Nathan turned his attention to his computer, where he was frantically researching chiropractors in the area. Luckily, there was one just down the street from his building; he called in and was relieved to score an appointment for an hour later.
As he waited, Nathan thought to investigate the origins of the letter. He fired some instant messages to his other co-workers online. He first approached his Ethiopian friend, Rohan, who laughed when hearing about the letter but flatly denied any involvement. His Scottish friend, Rodney, sympathized with Nathan but also denied having a hand in the message. "Besides," Rodney added, "if it was MY joke, it'd actually be FUNNY."
By the time his appointment time rolled around, Nathan had exhausted all his leads. Aching in pain, he got up slowly from his desk and excused himself a second time to make his trip to the doctor. On the elevator ride down, he re-thought his theory and wondered if possibly, the letter was the real deal. Maybe he did have a genuine, bonafide admirer. But he knew better. The pain in his back reminded him gently that he wasn't that lucky - his life was simply too ridiculous.
posted by Nathan at 11:15 PM
